A Padfoot and Prongs Masterpiece
by montlake
Summary: Whoever would have thought Sirius and James would ever have the patience for a diary? However, in an attempt to entertain themselves, as is often the case in their lives, they decide to write one. Together. And how much fun that turns out to be...
1. A Beginning

**Disclaimer: **I naturally do not own Harry Potter or anything related to it. If you don't know who does, perhaps you should find out, because you're not going to understand this otherwise!

_My first fanfic! It's quite simple but still good fun! Sirius writes in italics, James in _normal _script. I hope you enjoy it!_

**The Diary of _Padfoot_ and Prongs**

Dear Diary,

Today was an interesting day.

_A very interesting day. _

Splendificasly interesting.

_There's no such word as splendificasly Prongs. _

Well, now there is!

_You can't just make up words! This is meant to be an honest, virtuous, dexterous, reliable, exceptionally superb recount of our sixth year! _

It is? I thought we were just writing it so we could pretend I had a diary, and therefore appear sensitive to Lily...

_That too. _

(Don't snigger!)

_But never the less, I think we should at least try and make it, you know, entertaining. _Why?

Can't we just doodle in class in it...

_Prongs, Prongs, Prongs. You poor, poor lost little boy. This could turn out to be the greatest novel of our time! It could become a sanctuary for us! It could end up being the most fulfilling thing we have ever done!_

Shut up Padfoot. You're kidding yourself. But ok. I mean, what if Moony or someone read it.

_Someone meaning Lily?_

I don't always think about Lily! But yeh... her too... maybe I could write some really nice things about her in it... then – wait for it –

_Does this plan include leaving it somewhere for her to find? Coz if it does, you're really losing your edge Prongs. And enough about Lily already. _

Sor-ry. I thought a diary was a place to spill your feelings out, write down stuff that you would never tell another, and let yourself fly!

_Maybe an **individual **diary. However, we are both writing this. I don't WANT to know your 'innermost secrets'. They're probably either stupid or about Lily. Both topics which are not of much interest, to me, at least._

What a start we have made Padfoot - you and me arguing. Wow, that's such a great recount. We didn't even tell the diary, poor fellow, why this day was so interesting!

_Oh yeh, sorry diary, I forgot. Well, let me launch into the story! You see it all started when Prongsie got this idea that Slytherins didn't actually like green. You know, it being their house colour and all, I thought they would simply adore it. That git Snape (will tell you more about him later, diary, old pal) is always getting green stuff._

Or black. To go with his black heart.

_Or black. But that's beside the point. He has green quills, green dress robes, green drapes –_

He has green drapes? How do you know that?

_He he he... he also has green underwear! Don't you remember that time we snuck into the Slytherin common room? I had a look in his dormitory._

You looked at his underwear? That is so so wrong Padfoot.

_It was on his bed. He's messy. Who cares anyway? Our point is, Slytherins LIKE green. _

However.

_Yes, however, that is the key word here. However, they don't like eating green. _

No, they don't like it at all.

_Not one little bit. Especially when the food is not MEANT to be green._

So, continuing our story. I got this brilliant idea that, although Slytherins are so proud of their house and the colours that come with it, perhaps eating green eggs –

_And ham._

And ham? What's that got to do with this?

_Nothing, go on. Diary is waiting. It's ok diary, mean, wee Prongs will proceed._

If you ever shut up maybe. Ok, so I tell it the boys we should turn the Slytherins food green then next day at breakfast and they are not too keen on the idea. Padfoot says that the Slytherins would probably find it a favour to have more green in the Great Hall. And then Moony half agrees with him and adds that Slytherins don't care about their food as long as it won't kill them, they're tasteless. And Wormtail agrees with everybody... including me.

_Confusing associate that Wormtail is. And, you've got to admit Prongs, it sounded like a stupid plan._

As if it did! But I convince them with my charming personality, rugged handsome looks, persuasive conversation –

_Great hexing skills more like._

Don't tell diary that! So eventually they agree and we set it all up.

_How we do this is a secret._

True. We set it all up so that at breakfast the next morning all the Slytherins food is varying shades of green.

_And they won't eat it! It was hilarious!_

And thanks to Moony, none of them could eat food from any of the other tables! It just jumped out of their mouth when they tried. How I love that jinx!

_Ah yes, me too, has helped us countless times! _

And so they sit there with all this green food in front of them, and all the other houses are sniggering about it, specially us, and the Slytherins become distraught!

_Malfoy swore to kill whoever did it! Nott started hexing randoms – _

Did you see that Hufflepuff's boils?

_Stop laughing Prongs, we need to continue. And the Hall was in chaos. _

Of course, eventually one of the professors calmed it all down, by which time we had sneaked out. But it was worth every moment.

_And we didn't get caught! So not even a detention as the price for out prank!_

What a day, what a day.

_And then of course their was lessons and all that... but that was all boring._

Yeh... double History of Magic. Zzzzzzzzzzzz.

_Not that you listened James... How many L.E.'s did you calve into the table._

Alas, only 54! I was hoping to reach 100, but I started doing them in elaborate designs and time just flew!

_As it does in History of Magic. Well, goodnight diary. Moony is motioning for us to come and see something._

Looks like Wormtail's tried to hex some first year...

_I gotta see this! Don't worry diary! We will return!_

See you later diary! Can we give it a name? I feel stupid saying diary.

_Next time. The action is nearly over! Let's hurry!_

Yours Truly,

Padfoot and Prongs


	2. A Naming

**Disclaimer: **I naturally do not own Harry Potter or anything related to it. If you don't know who does, perhaps you should find out, because you're not going to understand this otherwise!

_Hey everybody! Thanks SO SO much for the reviews! I was so ecstatic! Just a little note: I'm going to France for a few weeks, so I won't be updating until I get back. Sorry! _

**The Diary of _Padfoot_ and Prongs**

_Dear Diary,_

_Ah, alas, it has been a day since Prongs and I last made an entry._

Padfoot! You said we were going to name it now!

_I'm getting to that. Patience is a virtue –_

Virtue is a grace; Grace is a little girl who wouldn't wash her face. I don't care about patience! Diary is a stupid name for a diary!

_Because there's just SO many other names you call a Diary besides 'Diary'. Right?_

What I meant was, it's too predictable and unoriginal. We are not unoriginal adolescent's Padfoot, not at all. If we call our Diary 'Diary' we are lowering ourselves to the level of our fellow, boring peers.

_Well, what do you suggest?_

I was thinking a type of flower perhaps...

_That type of flower wouldn't happen to be a 'Lily', would it?_

Not necessarily. At least, not just Lily. Maybe 'Lilyfield' or 'RedLily' or 'LilyGlade' or –

_Or how about no? You're the one who's prattling on about being original._

Well, what makes your ideas so good?!?!? 

_Besides the fact that I'm gorgeous? Well, for a start, I don't think our diary is a girl._

It has a gender? Since when does it have a gender? You can't just give our diary a gender! I should get a say in this!

_Well, Prongs, what gender do you think our diary is?_

Male.

_That's exactly what I said! Why argue for the sake of arguing?_

It was the principle of the matter. This is also my diary. I should get to pick its gender too.

_Ok ok. We still haven't named it. Should we call it a 'real' name or a made up one?_

A real name. Like James.

_Yeh, Prongs, you would love the name James, you egomaniac. I think we should call it Pablo._

Pablo? You've got to be kidding? What kind of a name for a diary is Pablo?

_A good one. Come on, Prongs, it's not that important._ To you maybe. I, on the otherhand, think a name is what makes a diary. Without a good name, you can not have a good diary. _Have you ever even had a diary?_ No, but I think about them. Sometimes. _Ok then... Can we just call him Pablo? He's probably getting bored._

Fine then. But please note that it was against my will to be so rash with Pablo's naming.

_Noted. And finally we are moving on. Yes, there was indeed a reason we decided to write today as opposed to yesterday._

What he says is true –

_What who says? Pablo or Me?_

Capitalize 'Me' why don't you... You of cause, Padfoot, you peabrain. Continuing. We have some astonishing news.

_Very astonishing news._

Don't start that again! What is this news, you ask? What could make Prongs and Padfoot –

_What could make **Padfoot and Prongs** so excited when their lives are generally so exciting?_

Moony has a girlfriend! Nah ni nah ni nah nah!

_Our dear friend Moony has acquired a female companion! It's the talk of the school! And it's about time. He didn't get much action at all last year._

Yeh... he was getting pretty desperate. Well, the girl's name is Serebri someone and she's in Ravenclaw.

_I think her last name is something quite muggle, like Smith._

Oh yeh! It's Baker! Like: Butcher, Baker, Candlestick Maker.

_Umm... yeh... right... Yeh, it is Baker. Remember how we were teasing Moony about it. Imagine if he changed his last name to Baker! _

And then him and Serebri could buy a Bakery together and call it 'Baker's Bakery'.

_Imagine Moony running a bakery. What a joke!_

I dunno... He's pretty into food. He ate an egg sandwich, 4 rashes of bacon, 2 apples, some tomatoes and a bowl of that weird cereal he likes for breakfast today. And it wasn't like he had much to get him hungry either –

_Aside from that you ate half his dinner last night?_

He still had plenty!

_If it's classified by how much one likes food, Prongs, I think you or I would be more suitable for the position of baker. _

Or Wormtail.

_Or Wormtail. So, going by your theory, Moony is the LEAST likely of us to run a bakery. _

Yeh, he is. What theory?

_Don't worry. Seriously, Prongs, do you ever think about what you say?_

When Lily is around. Always, always, always.

_Ah, so that's why you told her this morning you loved her, and I quote, 'Sticky-out furry bits' on the end of her hair before she's brushed it in the morning. _

Well, I do. It makes her looks untamed and wild and devilish and...

_Sorry Pablo, I guess I will have to take over while Prongs drools on you. Don't worry, he won't be too long. I hope. _

_Ok... He's taking a bit longer than I thought. Just wait while I bring him back to reality._

Padfoot! I was just about to fall asleep and have dreams about Lily!

_How can you be 'just about to' have dreams about something? Or someone, in your case._

I can just feel it. It's like the whole soulmate thing I told you about that time.

_More like those 100 times. I just can't see you and Lily being soulmates, mate. She's never shown the slightest bit of interest you._

She's playing hard to get. And we're soulmates. Definitely. I've drawn up a chart of the many different ways we are meant to be if you'd like me to go and get it?

_Prongs, You showed me the chart last night. I helped you make the chart. I gave you the idea for the chart so you could show me your whole soulmate thing quicker. I don't think I need to see the chart. Again. _

Are you sure? Coz it won't take long for me to get it. I could just whip upstairs and be back in a jiffy. You know, I don't mind. I like looking at it. You don't have to feel like it'd be a chore for me to get it. I really don't mind. Seriously, Padfoot, it's really easy to get.

_But **I **don't want to see it. I almost have it memorized you show me so much. There are more important things in life. However, if you feel like getting me your Transfiguration homework, then that's a completely different matter._

I thought you'd finished that? And you can't copy. Last time we copied each other we got a week of detentions. It was hell. Don't you ever learn?

_Apparently not, according to you. Well, 'twas worth a shot. Anyway, I think we need to start a Prankfest again._

You've read my mind! I was just thinking the school has been quiet lately. Remember last year when we got that Prank contest going with the Slytherin girls?

_Ah, the memories. Fifth year was great fun, if you exclude OWLS. _

OWLS weren't that bad either. We still did fabulously, as was expected.

_But it's unnecessary stress. And Moony and Wormtail were studying nearly all the time, so nothing was as much fun._

I suppose so. But, back to the Prankfest. We'll talk to our colleagues about it and get back to you, Pablo.

_Well, lookie here. Lily's arrived._

Where? I can't see her? Oh, over there. Say hello to her! Is she looking at me? Does she look like she's thinking of me?

_Prongs, get over yourself. She's come down to study. She isn't even thinking of thinking of you. And if she is thinking of you, she's probably hoping you don't talk to her and leave her in peace. _

You suppose so? How sad. Let me take Pablo, Padfoot, and I'll pretend it's my diary, which I write perceptive thoughts about the wizarding world in.

_She's never going to believe that. She'll think your keeping a snog diary or something. But if you want to, take it. I'm going to go and finish my Transfiguration stuff._

Ok. Now Pablo, I want you to imagine this is a sensitive, observant, beautiful comment and try and communicate to Lily it is: My bed was not made today because I was slept in late and had to rush everything to get to breakfast. When I arrived at breakfast I had forgotten to put shoes on and was given a detention. I think the moral of this is that Hogwarts students need more time in the mornings and lessons should be shorter, so nobody has to rush. Although the moral also could be: don't tease the houseelves so they'll make your bed and clean up your stuff. Are you giving off a sensitive vibe, Pablo? Lily is looking at me weirdly. Maybe it's working. I'm going to go and talk to her. Wish me luck!

Lots of Love,

Prongs (and Padfoot would say bye too if he was still here)


	3. A Plan

Hello everyone! Sorry for the wait, but I was overseas and thus unable to write... or even get on a computer. I had GREAT fun. But I won't babble on about that. I hope some people are excited for this chapter! And I've done review responses, which I've always wanted to do; they're at the bottom. Thanks to everybody who reviewed! I get so excited when I read them! Ok... on with the entry!

Moony and Wormtail make an entrance in this entry. Moony writes **bold **and Wormtail writes in **_italic bold _**and as always Padfoot in _italics _and Prongs in normal.

Dear Pablo,

_And we return for another glorious entry on you delightful pages, which will soon be filled with humor and philosophy! What a lucky diary you are!_

Except that you have to put up with Padfoot, I'd agree with that. You are INCREDIBLY lucky, to have been graced with my presence!

_I'm going to ignore that. I'm going to try very hard to ignore that. For now, that is._

You couldn't stay angry with me anyway. Now, we're terribly sorry, Pablo, but -

_But, due to lack of parchment Prongs and I have had to use you for purposes other than what was intended when we first had the luck of getting you._

We hope you don't mind but we need some parchment to write to Moony and Wormtail on and, well, you're easy to use, so....

_What he means is, we're going to use you to pass notes in class. Sorry. And now we will stop talking to a diary and start planning our Prankfest._

Ok, Pablo, this first note is for Moon -

_Prongs! Get on with it! The lesson will be over before we even get a note out if you keep on telling our diary what's going on! And Moony and Wormtail will start to think you're crazy... if they don't already notice the obvious._

I'm not crazy, just... affectionate. I reckon Lily would like that, if I was affectionate! Don't you?

_Maybe, if you weren't you._

What's that meant to mean? Anyway: Moony and Wormtail - What do you think of a Prankfest again this year?

**What is this book? Is this that diary? Can we read it!?!?!**

_**Wow! Your diary! You trust me with this? Just joking! I wouldn't read it, that is, if you didn't want me too. But I say yes to the Prankfest! That is... if you guys want it, because if you don't it's ok with me. I'll just do whatever. **_

_Write a novel, why don't you, Wormtail. Yes Moony, this is our diary, and no, you can't read it. Not yet anyway. Maybe after we put some spells on it to hide stuff... _

**Hide stuff? Like what? Not any of Prongs' Lily prattle... If that's the case, I feel sorry for you Padfoot, you poor, poor thing.**

Hey! I don't 'prattle'!

_Sure you don't. There is a lot of that, unfortunately, Moony, but that's beside the point. What do you think of a Prankfest?_

**Well... **

Moony! You're the un-indecisive one around here! You know you want to.

'**Un-indecisive' am I? Well, fine then, But not too big. I am a prefect, you know and the younger students...**

_**But you were fine with it last year and you were a prefect then too.**_

Come on Moony, don't be a spoilsport. We've got to keep up our reputation.

**Exactly.**

_Ignore him, chaps. It's not like he won't join in. Remember last time, when he lectured us for days about how we shouldn't do it, but as soon as we started planning things he was throwing suggestions around like he had a Subicium charm on him? I assume this Fest will be against the Slytherins?_

As always. Ideas, anyone?

_**What about we get a giant balloon and write Slytherins Suck on it and make it float around!**_

**Wasn't that your idea last year?**

_**Yeh! But we never got round to doing it, remember? And you all thought it was a great idea, didn't you?**_

No comment.

**No comment.**

_No. _

_**Comment?**_

_No, just no. It's not very... original, Wormtail. But maybe if we got lots of little red and yellow balloons to follow them round and whenever enough of them got together the balloons would form a line and flash Slytherin Sucks in bright lights. That would be cool. Imagine at meals... there would be about 20 Slytherin Sucks signs at their table and, hopefully, no one would be able to do anything about it. For a while, at least._

**And we could add that anti-anti-jinx charm we learned in Charms yesterday.**

And make it whenever they tried to pop the balloons another one would appear! Great idea Wormtail!

_And ME!_

**And Siri - Can we write your names in the book?**

No! But yeh, Padfoot too, I suppose.

_:P to you._

_**Gee! Thanks Prongs! So should we do it now?**_

_No, you idiot. This'll take a while to plan. I'd say a few weeks, if we want it to be first-class. _

**Which we do, naturally. **

_As you would expect of the marauders of the school. Always of the highest standard, always to be remembered by our sons and grandsons and great-grandsons, etc, etc._

And everybody else.

_**Can we read the diary now?**_

No. Give it back, Me and Padfoot -

**Padfoot and I.**

Shut up Moony, we know.

_Yeh, we get artistic license._

**For a diary? You've got to be kidding!**

Give it back. We wanna write in Pablo. And stop laughing! Pablo is a exceptional name for a diary!

_Look who's talking! Bye, Moony. You can stop reading over my shoulder now._

We know all and see all. Give up now, guys, before you suffer our wrath!

_Or, at least, we hex you enough to put you in quite a bit of pain for the next few days._

Precisely. So, Pablo, it seems as if the Prankfest will indeed be happening.

_Well, I'm excited. I live off mischief! It's like my lifeblood!_

Except it's not red.

_Will I ever get through to you, Prongsie? Maybe in Quidditch terms, or through Lily... But otherwise..._

Hey! Guess what! YOU brought up Lily! It wasn't me this time! Does this mean you want to talk about her? You don't... like her, do you? Because if you do, Padfoot, we're gonna have to take this outside.

_'Take this outside'??? And, of course I don't like Lily! I was mentioning her in association with you!_

What do you mean 'Of course'? How could you not like her!?!?! I'm surprised she doesn't have a boyfriend, she's so pretty and intelligent -

_And blah blah blah. And I hate to break it to you Prongsie, but. Oh, it doesn't matter._

But what? You can tell me! Anything about Lily I NEED to know.

_It doesn't matter. Not important. _

We shouldn't keep secrets from each other you know! I told you when I... you know... on the train.

_But that was SO funny! This is just different. You wouldn't want to know._

Yeh I would! I need to know her flaws as well as everything else if I'm going to marry her!

_Marriage, Prongs, is a long way off for you. But, get ready: She does have a boyfriend._

WHAT!?!?!

_Yeh. I'm sorry Prongs, I really am. _

And you weren't going to TELL me! I would have kept giving her flowers and asking her out and writing her poems and she would have had a BOYFRIEND! Do you know how humiliating that would have been!?!?! I am going to faint! This is horrible!

_Don't faint, Prongs. I would have told you, eventually. Just, now seemed a bad time... you were happy._

Humph. Well, who is it then?

_You know old Corn-on-the-Cob who has skin like corn from Ravenclaw, in seventh year? Yeh, him._

WHAT! But... But... he's so... ugly and blotchy!

_I guess she's not interested in looks, mate. He is smart._

But so am I! And I'm handsome! This can't be happening. This CAN'T BE HAPPENING!

_Well, Prongs has left the room now, Pablo. It's just you and me. So, unless I want to prove I'm crazy and talk to you or myself and also since I'm like his bestfriend and all, I better go and comfort him. He'll be fine... in a few months... I hope._

_Forever Happy,_

_Padfoot (But not Prongs, it seems)_

There's been a lot of questions about Pablo, so I'll answer them all here: I named the diary Pablo because my friend and I named my tent Pablo (crazy, I know!) and the name just stuck! Where it came from before that, who knows!

lindsay – Thanx for reading! I'm super glad you liked it! I hope you like this chapter too!

shadownthedark – ahh.. but prongs is obsessive. Well, at least to me! And Pablo is explained above! I'm delighted you liked the story... or diary.

cyberian-otter – You have read more! The wait is over! Sorry it was so long... promise next entry won't have the same delay

Unblemished Lamb – A fellow Pablo fan! Thanks for reading!

Ookami Aya – I am continuing for you! And everyone else, of course... hope you get a few more laughs out of this... though I'm afraid it's not as funny as some other chapters : (. Hopefully it's not too bad. Thanx for enjoying!

kiwi – Pablo is explained above. And I've finally updated! Please continue to 'love it'.

GatomonandKariFan – Are you over your cold yet? I hope so! Thanks for reading the fic! 

harry's marauder chick – Sirius is ALWAYS funny! I luv it! Thank you for reading and enjoying!

Reaka – I did indeed have fun in France! Thanks for asking! And also, for reading and reviewing! Always appreciated!

Kayhera – Remus deserves his fair share of love life too, don't you think? It can't be all Sirius and James now, can it? France was great! You have a reason to be jealous! And thanks for the comments... You think Sirius is a bit weird? He's a bit different to how some people portray him, I know, but I've always thought he was a bit full of bull a lot of the time, and I try and show that. And as I say: James IS obsessed with Lily!

clothespeg-rules – It's amazing how two simple words can be so meaningful. Thank you!

Sun Kissed Rose – What type of cookies? I hope they were nice! I was actually eating an ANZAC when I wrote this... it was nice. Thanks for reviewing!

Rena – I agree about there should be a book about the marauders... but who to write it? I don't know... Thanx heaps for reading.

moonymagnificent – I had ever so much fun in France! Thank you for reading!

jazzypom – I loved your comments! It's good to know what people think of my style! Thank you for reviewing!

Crystal Lightning – You like my Prongsie! Yay! I had terrific fun in France, as you do when you go overseas with a bunch of friends! Thanks for reading and reviewing!

ReginaLucifer – Little red fox???? Dunno if I know that one! And your not crazy! Pablo is a super cool name!

Gaby-Black – You're from France! Cool! We went to Nice, Aix en Provence & Paris. Fantastic! I've started reading your story. I'll review soon! It's good so far! Thanks for reading!

Did you like the entrance of the other Marauders? I wanted to add them in somehow at one stage... So I did! And should I continue review responses? Did you like them? They're fun to write! Anyway, Thank you all for reaching the bottom! I hope you enjoyed it!


	4. A Prank

Hey everyone! I trust you had a good week? Ok, more to the point – thanks to everyone who found the time to review! I was, as always, super, super happy! Especially because this wasn't the best week! And I did review responses again! Anyway, this next entry is back to our (or more my) favourite duo – Sirius and James! Enjoy! (I hope) It's mostly just a recount of their prank, because they are very excited about it!

Dear Pablo,

What a treat we have for you today!

_This treat will be better than any Pumpkin Pastry, Coconut Ice or Sugar-Spun Quill you've ever had!_

Ah, the suspense! Because we know you want to know what we know, Pablo.

_Say that again?_

You can just read it off the page, Padfoot.

_That I can. But it's so much funner to make you write more._

But then my hand hurts!

_Hurting hand? I know just the remedy for that!_

You're not touching me with that... thing!

_What? My wand?_

I saw what you did to Madeleine Dill the other day with your... your stick!

_What did I do, again? I can't seem to remember this event..._

You gave her warts! Just because she sprayed you with ink!

_Umm... Prongs, no offense, mate, but you're a little of the topic. And it was just an extra crusty skin layer, not warts._

Sure it was. So, what were we talking about?

_You were about to tell Pablo of our achievement._

Ah yes - We did it!

_Our dear Prongsie is correct, we pulled off our little prank!_

Little? What is this 'little' you speak of? This, Pablo, my friend, turned out to be one of the biggest pranks EVER!

_I was rather surprised, myself. It was a god idea –_

Don't you mean 'good'? Your spelling has never been your best quality, Padfoot, but surely 'good' isn't too hard for you!

_You take me for a fool? And to think I thought you knew me! It was a godLIKE idea, if that's better for you Prongs, but who would of thought it would be so successful?_

Not me! Especially coz it was originally Wormtail's idea...

_After all these years, I never expected that old balloon idea of his to actually ever be used! And, in the case we resorted to it, a success at that!_

Me neither... But onto the prank! It's dreadfully important, no, more like vital, that we record this.

_It's not like we'd forget it anyway... but after we're gone, I suppose. Ok, you start._

No, you start.

_Prongs, we're not six! Besides, I asked first!_

You start. Or if you want Lily to start, that's fine. She had heaps to say on the subject! Did you ever notice how beautiful she is when she's raving mad? So, so gorgeous, like a goddess who has taken leave from her throne in the sky to -

_Ok, Ok, I'll start! Well, I suppose the real beginning of this is two nights ago, when we had a "Prank Plan Night"-_

I.E. we got heaps of food from the house elves –

_Or more, Moony did, because they won't give anything to Prongs and me anymore after we set traps for them in our dorm..._

It's weird that. I thought the traps were funny! Especially the "Turn Me Pink" one. Pink house elves are cute! And fashionable too!

_If I knew how to spell the sound, I'd write a "Yeh sure" cough for you, Pablo. Unfortunately, I'm a hopeless speller, as Prongs so kindly pointed out, so you'll have to imagine it._

Well, anyway, we got the food and spent half the night planning our prank on Wormtail's bed.

_I don't think he'll ever get some of the stains off... even with magic._

Moony told me he's hidden the sheets and a pillowcase behind that statue of the one-eyed witch because they had some, umm, strange marks on them and he was way too embarrassed to show them to anyone, especially if a girl ever walked into our dorm.

_Poor Wormtail, you gotta feel sorry for him sometimes. He actually thinks a girl might see his bed someday. So after a night of planning –_

And drinking.

_Here's a tip for you Pablo: if you ever want to plan a REALLY good prank, firewhiskey helps you scheme. So we talked and ate until we had everything ready to go for the next day._

We always leave a day for preparing the prank. We brought the balloons from Hogsmeade and then looked up charms, etc. And then Voila! Everything was ready to go.

_Now, the interesting bit of a prank begins. The Reaction._

Imagine this: You wake up, it's quite a nice morning and you get dressed quickly. You go to the bathroom to wash your face. As you look in the mirror you see something red floating above your head. It looks like a balloon. You rub your eyes, unsure of what you've seen. You look again, and there it is, a red balloon, floating above your head. You look up to confirm what you've seen. But nothing changes. There actually is a red balloon following you around.

_You run into your dorm, quite distressed by the sudden appearance this balloon. You give a shout when you see that your dormmates have the same fate as you, though some of them have yellow balloons, as opposed to your red._

Your first thought is 'Gryffindors'!

_And then, we would hope, it's '6th year boys!' or something of the like._

Well, that, at least, is how we imagine it would have been like for the Slytherins.

_The Slimy Slytherins._

The Slippery, Slimy Slytherins.

_The Sneaky, Slippery, Slimy Slytherins._

The Shocking, Sneaky, Slippery, Slimy Slytherins.

_The Sinful, Shocking, Sneaky, Slippery, Slimy Slytherins._

The Sickening, Sinful, Shocking, Sneaky, Slippery, Slimy Slytherins.

_The Sordid, Sickening, Sinful, Shocking, Sneaky, Slippery, Slimy Slytherins._

Ok, I think that's enough now Padfoot.

_You just can't think of anymore! I win!_

I can too! But we were meant to be recounting the prank...

_Fine then. But I still win._

I think the funniest incident was at breakfast.

_We could see that many Slytherins already had 2 or 3 balloons trailing after them, obviously they'd tried to pop theirs._

One had about 10, bunched together, flashing 'Slytherin Sucks'. They just never learn.

_Of course, most of the older Slytherins looked straight at us, and started cursing us across the Great Hall._

Earning many of them detentions, I might add.

_What surprised me though, was the little extra surprise James had added._

I'm a genius.

_In this case, yes, you are. He, somehow, managed to make the balloons attack each other._

It doesn't sound as good as it was on paper. But, it's actually very disruptive to have a balloon fight above your head.

_And you must remember, that they were all in great bunches, so it was like giant hippogriffs or something attacking each other in mid air._

And, this time, when a balloon popped, it sprayed the Slytherins with pumpkin juice.

_Then, there was the usual random cursing, uproar of laughter and general chaos we always manage to provide._

And I suppose that's it.

_That took a long time, much longer than I had expected._

Well, don't blame me.

_I wasn't going to. So, we must make our good-byes, because Prongs won't let me touch his hand, and its going all swollen from all this writing we've been doing lately._

I will keep my farewell short. Goodbye.

_I think that's the end of him.I think I'll end it before he gets time to go into Lils and her boyfriend. Well, au revoir, Pablo, old pal._

_The Delightful Duo,_

_Padfoot and Prongs._

Sun Kissed Rose – You have a Hilary Duff blanket? He he he! That's funny! Well, If you happen to have some nachos on you, you can read this random HP fic while eating it! Let's hope so!

GatomonandKariFan – Glad to hear you're feeling better! In the case you do ever manage to 'rip it out of their hands and run to the Astronomy tower and read it' please, please, please return it, so they can write more!

TheSerpentAndTheLion – Stupid internet, it does random things sometimes. I was appreciative of your review, it raised some interesting points. I think the thing with James is, Lily doesn't want to be 'wooed', as you put it, by him, so he is constantly being turned down by her (because she thinks he's egotistical, annoying, or whatever). And, because he is confident, or arrogant, it's a bit of a mystery to him and therefore he continuously brings it up, especially around his best friends. I don't know... something along those lines. Anyway, I'm hoping to read more of your story soon! And I'll try to stay on the face of the Earth! 

evenstar of the undyinglands – Your review was interesting! 'Crazy like a monkey like a fox' aye? I'm not sure what you mean, but thanks!

**Unblemished Lamb** – Pablo is Spanish, I think. By the way, to make you feel special, I bolded your name for you! Enjoy!

Kayhera – Yay! You think my characters are in character. Ok, that sounded really weird. But THANKYOU! I'm glad you liked Wormtail, I've actually tried to include him a bit, because so many people just leave him out completely and it's a bit annoying.

blue3ski – Prongsie has forgotton his little shock with news of his prank. However, next entry, we'll get a lot more about his reaction to Lily's boyfriend.

ReginaLucifer – My tent needed a name, it's a very special, orange tent. And thank you for loving my story! I love it when people love my story!

MAndrews – Continuing! I hope you enjoyed this! And I plan to continue even more!

Reaka – Thank you for reading!

Ookami Aya – We'll hear what James thinks of her boyfriend next installment! Perhaps include some more lovers talk and include Moony as well, I think. Don't worry, I don't plan to turn this into a OC/Remus fic at all. That would be weird. Mweha.

des – Thank you for reading! More has arrived!

ShOrTnSwEeT9013 – Laughing out loud is good for you, I don't know why you mum (or 'mom'. he he he! I find the word mom incredibly funny!) thought you were crazy! Maybe you are? I don't know... now I'm just confused.

Paintedsecrets – I couldn't live with the guilt of killing you! Please refrain from eating cookies while reading humorous material!

Fairy-Dust 888 – Amazingly, I just wrote this fic to entertain myself and, hopefully, others. So it is very satisfying when someone says I'm a good writer! Thank you!

Lauren – I think it's fine to laugh in the library! Although, I suppose others don't... well, if you read this in the library... just do whatever... ok... so I suck at giving advice. Thanks for reading!

Gaby-Black – hey! Thanks for reading my story! I enjoyed yours!


	5. A Boyfriend

**Disclaimer:** Sorry, I forgot this for the last few entries! So this is for them too. I don't own my characters, sad as it is. J.K. Rowling was lucky enough to come up with them. Well, I own the ones mentioned which aren't very important and you don't really care about and sound rather stupid... but apart from them, I am a lost cause for making up characters. Anything else you recognize, most likely doesn't belong to me either.

So many reviews! I had camp and when I came back and checked my e-mail I was so delighted! I spent the rest of the day walking around and suddenly smiling when things reminded me of the reviews! Now I am getting very excited for 100 reviews, which I am hoping and wishing will come within the next chapter! Please? Pretty please with a cherry on top? If you have been reading, but haven't reviewed, please consider doing so because I LOVE to hear from everybody so, so much! To put it simply: EVERYBODY REVIEW! Or I will come after you with a giant, man-eating carrot. Lol...

I gave my sister the story/diary/whatever to read and it was thrilling to hear someone actually laughing at it, instead of just telling me they did (not that that's not good too!)! She told me she loved it, but was very doubtful that I wrote it. In fact, she informed me she didn't think I was a good enough writer or funny enough. I was actually quite complimented by this, however, because it meant she thought it was actually good... Sisters are weird.

OK, I will shut up now. Enjoy!

_Dear Pablo,_

_This is an emergency entry. Moony suggested Prongsie should get some of his feelings on to paper, so we came running to you._

Correction - Padfoot came running to you, and he happened to be dragging me behind him. I don't want to talk. To anybody. End of story.

_Fine then. If you're going to be that way, I'll tell the tale. You may remember several entries ago Lily's boyfriend was mentioned_.

Grrrrr...

_As you can see, this boyfriend is a very sensitive topic for our pitiable Prongs. In fact, it's the very reason we have resorted to an emergency entry. _

Grrrrr... 

_Prongs, the dear lad, did something very stupid._

Grrrrr... 

_And, although I would normally consider him quite a stupid chap, this was above and beyond anything he would be expected to do. _

Grrrrr...

_So, the only question left is What did Prongs do?_

You wouldn't tell!

_Ah, but I would. You need to get it out into the open, mate. It's not like anybody in the school won't know about it by tomorrow. _

I can't believe I was so stupid. And so mean!

_Neither can I, and that's saying something. So, should I tell, or do you want to?_

I don't think I can.

_Very well then. Where were we? Ah yes, Prongs... stupid... Lily... boyfriend...Prongs was stupid because of Lily and her boyfriend. I think that just about sums it up. _

I hate stupid Dulcedon.

_Hate is a very strong word. He's actually quite nice –_

Nice? He's a menace, a monster, a threat to mankind!

_No need to overreact._

There is much need to overreact. Lily is taken.

_Lily was taken. It's past tense, thanks to you._

Grrrrr...

_While Prongs has returned to his 'Grrrrrings' I will attempt to get my little story out. As you may have picked up by now, Prongs is obsessed with Lily Evans. He's infatuated with her, he thinks about her every waking minute. And he dreams about her every sleeping minute. He says he's in love –_

I am in love with her.

_He says –_

I am!

_You've never even had a civil conversation with her. _

I did! In third year!

_Sure you did. Anyway, He says he's in love with her._

Padfoot!

_All right – he is in love with her. So for her to choose some other random guy over him is a big deal._

A very big deal. A ginormas deal!

_Very... Ginormas, as you so accurately put it. _

Still... She still loves me. I know it.

_Even if she doesn't._

Grrrrr...

_Okie dokie. Well, Prongs was ever so distressed to find out about Lily's boyfriend he immediately (and secretly) started to plan revenge. By the way, I still don't get how it's revenge, Prongs._

He took what was mine, therefore giving me a reason for revenge.

_She's not yours. _

Grrrrr...

_You need to improve your vocabulary, enough with the 'Grrrrrs'. Maybe I'll get you a thesaurus for Christmas..._

You wouldn't dare. Heavy books AHHHHH!!!

_Well, we're back on the topic. Prongs planned 'revenge' on the Ravenclaw who was 'ruining his life'. Now, Prongs, although he is a genius when it comes to pranks, is quite the opposite when it comes to revenge, if the revenge does not involve pranking, that is. _

It sounded like a good idea.

_Pretending to have an affair with the girl you love is a good idea? Gee, I need to get an update on my romancing skills..._

I really should have written it down before I did it. It looks so obviously stupid there.

_Well, you didn't, what a shame. Basically, what happened, Pablo, is, he flirted with Lily, gave Lily presents ranging from chocolates to stink bombs to some weird hairy thing –_

It was a hairpiece!

_A what?_

It's a woman thing.

_I am confuzzled. _

As am I! Why? OH WHY? Why didn't I just stun him or something!?!?!

_Coz you're stupid, as we've previously discussed. So, he gave her presents and he kept on trying to kiss her, he charmed little love hearts and rose petals to float around her head, he even transfigured her robes to say 'I Love J.P (that charming chaser!)' in bright yellow, surrounded by a red heart. –_

One day, she'll wear those robes.

_I heard she transfigured them back to normal. _

Impossible.

_I dunno...Can I continue now?_

No.

_Bad luck, mate. So, basically, he was acting like an obsessed boyfriend, even though Lily had her attentions elsewhere. And you can imagine how Dulcedon reacted to Prongsie. Now only did he break up with Lily, accusing her of 'cheating' -_

He attacked me! He actually attacked me! The scum!

_That's I suppose what happened. Or part of it..._

Take that evil grin off your face! No one, not even Pablo, will ever know about that other event.

_You just try and stop me! It's not like the whole school doesn't know. Drum roll, please: Lily threw –_

Me a lovely smile and then we snogged.

_Lily threw a bo –_

A boat! A love boat!

_A book! Ha! She threw her entire bag full of books at him! _

In front of everybody!

_And how the Slytherins laughed. Prongs can never show his face in public again. Don't worry, I've got plenty of helmets you can choose from!_

Helmets?

_Presents from my uncle. Don't worry about it. So, I suppose that's really most of it that you need to know, Pablo. You can basically imagine what it's like now. Lily won't look at Prongs, except to glare at him and he gets insulted about being 'beaten up by a girl' every time he comes across a Slytherin. It sucks for him._

I hate my life.

_Hate is –_

A very strong word, I know. Where'd you pick that up from? It's driving me crazy.

'_Hogwarts, A History'._

Huh?

_It's a book. _

You read books?

_My ex, Cleo, was obsessed with it. Now, on to happier news. Moony and Serebri are going strong. _

Unlike Lily and I. They're all over each other! We hardly ever see him anymore.

_Yes... it's very hurtful when he leaves us for a girl._

Not that you can talk, Padfoot.

_You always come first, dear friend._

Actions speak louder than words.

_Need I bring up you and Lily?_

I don't spend all my time with her. Unfortunately. Now she'll never talk to me and realize she loves me.

_She wouldn't have done that anyway._

I would do anything for Lily.

_Don't go all serious on me, mate! Seriously! I'm serious!_

You really love that word for some, unknown reason.

_Tis a great word, though, isn't it?_

Not really.

_It seriously is!_

Get over yourself, Padfoot.

_But that's very hard when you happen to be me. You wouldn't understand._

No, I don't understand you half the time, you're right.

_Judging from what you did to Lily, you just don't understand people._

Maybe I don't. Do you reckon you could give me lessons?

_Me? Umm... ok. If you want, but not now. _

Why not?

_You're too emotional. And I'll need to ask Moony for some tips. Maybe you should go to Moony for this; he's the responsible one._

I think I'll forget it. Instead, I'll order TeenWitch and pick up some tips. They have a romance section right?

_Is this about Lily, still?_

Of course. Then Lily will love me and I will have the perfect life.

_We thought you might get over Lily after this._

Never! How could you mention such a thing!?!?!

_Because you can't see that she'll never get together with you!_

I don't like this depressing talk! Let's talk about food!

_Strawberry tart, pumpkin pie, gravy, apple sauce, cheesecake, chocolate frogs, Bertie Botts Every Flavour Beans, honey, toast, yellow jelly, cream, ice-cream, butter –_

Yum... When's dinner?

_I dunno. What's the time?_

Oh god, it's RIGHT NOW!

_We have got to get there and soon! I can't believe we nearly missed it! _

Sorry Pablo, we've got to run!

_And fast!_

Hugs and Kisses,

_Padfoot and Prongs_

Hello, I have yet again answered my faithful reviewers! If you do review, feel free to make some suggestions on what you want to see later in the fic : ). I want to keep it going, and response helps me to actually start writing it. hint hint he he he... I am becoming addicted it reviews. I love them! It's hard to know if people are reading your story otherwise! And I want to hit 100! So... there are plenty of reasons for you to review.... If you need more... mention it to me somehow and I'll provide a list for you next entry! Ok... on to my responses. Oh, and should I call MWPP 'The Marauders'? Coz I love that name, it suits them so much... but I dunno if that's what they'd call themselves, due to grammar reasons? Any suggestions?

Starreader1 – hope you've found the time to get up to here! Enjoyed the rest?

Padfootz – How did you discover my story? I've always been interested in how most people find stories.

Trinity Day –Thanks so much for reviewing every chapter! I love reviews and it's nice to know how you felt about all of them! I hope you continue to review! And quote! I love it when people quote me! Please continue!

horn-head – Hey! This idea was actually something I though loads of people would have done... I dunno... I liked it but! Glad you do to! Please continue to read! : )

Gaby-Black – Hello! I'm starting to think of you as one of my frequent readers or whatever! And only after 5 entries! Keep it up! I love your reviews.

Dazzling Dame – How did your exams go? I have mine coming up... arrgg! So not looking forward to them! I hope you continue to read! Thanks for the review!

grets7jam – hello! I'm glad you enjoyed the story! Prongs is a funny one, I know. Here's the next chapter! Enjoy!

ReginaLucifer – I love it when people love that I love that they love my story! Lol! Some people out there must like Wormtail... although you hardly see any 'Wormtail, The Brave Rat' fics... Lol... that would be so funny!

CPegasus – Never stop? I'll try... Although I've got exams coming up... so that'll be a huge barrier for a while.

Reaka – Is your poor chair ok? Lol... I reckon you could get balloons to attack each other if you got some weirdly blowing wind and several bunches of balloons... just something for you to try at home... but make sure your alone, or your nutcase status will be permanent... : )

despyrit – Thanks so much for reviewing! Keep up the good work (believe me, it's very good work to review!)

ShOrTnSwEeT9013 – excuse me, but how is 'mum' funny! ;) Try and keep your craziness contained... in a wooden box perhaps? I dunno! Thank for reviewing!

Silwen Aurdomiel – Yay! You reviewed every chapter! Good work! How are your abs going? Tell me when they reach steel state! Keep on reviewing and reading and all those other 'r' words!

Must... write... more...

trixie-pixie-luvzhp-106 – what type of ice-cream? Ice-cream is good... Anyway, keep reading! Tis all good.  
Vicky loopyfcc – Ahh... glad you found it funny! Thanks for the review!

blue3ski – I wish I could pull off some good pranks like the boys manage too! It's an unfair life sometimes! Thanks for reviewing!


	6. A Poem

**Disclaimer**: Sirius and James, AKA Padfoot and Prongs, are not my characters. Neither are any other of the characters from J.K.'s book, so don't go telling me they are! In fact, most of the people/phrases you recognize probably aren't mine, which is very sad, I know.

Well, here it is, the next installment! And I REACHED 100 reviews! Responses at the bottom. Let's all have a moment of silence to celebrate. Ok, that's the end of that. Instead of going on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on I will let you read the entry.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Pablo,

Your green eyes glitter and glow gorgeously - 

_Prongs, what are you doing? And how do you know what colour eyes Pablo has?_

I'm writing a love poem to Lily! I found a book of poetry in the common room with L.E doodled all over it, so I figured she must like poetry.

_Prongs, sorry to break it to you, mate, but that was your book. You had this idea in fourth year, remember? Except that time it was to recite poetry to her. And then you got so fed up you threw the book across the common room while stomping up to our dorm crying; "If I ever see that book again I'll murder each and everyone of you!"_

This is that book? Oh... Well, I'm sure she likes poetry still, all girls like romance and poetry is romantic.

_Can you write?_

No, but if I just make it really descriptive with whopping great words, she won't understand it and probably will think it's really nice.

_Yeah, Right. And the book? Should I hide?_

Hide? The book won't hurt you, Padfoot! It's just a book, rather like Pablo here. I never knew you had a fear of books! Studying with books, maybe, but poetry books?

_I meant your threat to kill us all...?_

I think I'm a little more mature than I was in fourth year, Padfoot.

_You wish._

Back to the subject at hand. How do you write a poem?

_Why are you asking me?_

You receive plenty of them. Just this morning a tiny owl arrived at the window around five, waking us and several other light sleepers. Remember? And we all thought it was of great consequence that we read this note that disturbed us in the early hours of the day. And what did it turn out to be?

_I know, I know! It was just a letter from some random second year. I recognize it was a tinsy bit annoying –_

A lot annoying! So, in order to... pay me back for that event, you can help me with this.

_Ok, ok. Well, the best poems are always the ones that compliment you._

Are you sure Lily would like that? I mean, you are heaps more up yourself than her –

_Thank, Prongs, that really makes me want to help you. And yes, I'm sure. You want to make her exceedingly happy when she reads it, so say delightful things about her._

Ok, I'm taking this in. How should I start?

_Umm... Why don't you write what you want to say and then we'll make it sound all poetryish._

Okie Dokie. How about –

Lily, you are very pretty

Like a Lily

That's probably why you were called Lily –

_How about no? That sucks, Prongs. Really, really sucks._

Maybe it's a bit flawed, but surely not THAT BAD.

_Must I comment?_

Don't worry, I get the drift. Ok, trying again –

Your eyes are a nice green

Almost emerald, in fact.

I don't know if you noticed, but

Your hair is red.

When I stare at it when I sit behind you in Potions.

All these little sparkles jump around in it

And it reminds me of this time Sirius got a bunch of Filibusters

And set them off in his house, to annoy his mother

Once, he brought me home to annoy his mother

Because Sirius's mother is a cold hearted wench

We think she might be a hag

But then, Sirius would be related to a hag, so let's put that theory beside.

_Prongs, you're writing a ROMANTIC POEM. Not a letter, or a Pablo entry or anything along those lines. A POEM. Make it rhyme or something, keep the rhythm, anything but a recount broken into lines! And OF COURSE she knows her hair is red! And WHY would she want to know about me and fireworks? WHY?_

I thought it was interesting. One more try, if it's not good, then I'll send her one out of this book. Ok, here we go –

I love Lily

Does Lily love me?

If not, why not?

Green Eyes

Red Hair

Turn me on.

That's you Lil'

It always was you.

_How sweet. That was sarcastic, by the way, Pablo. It must be mighty hard for you to detect sarcasm. Prongs, let's opt for the book poems. I think it would be better for all of us._

Even Lily? It's not as personal if I just get it out of a book...

_Especially Lily._

Fine. Rather than embarrass myself anymore, I think I'll change the subject.

_Very subtle, Prongs. Well, may I choose?_

As long as it's not about you.

_The subject I have in mind, dear Prongs, is quite the opposite._

It's not about me, is it?

_Well, I happen to have a little clipping I got out of a certain Gryffindor bulletin –_

Anything but that, Padfoot. Anything at all.

_I'm ignoring you. Pablo, you should remember last entry (if you don't, we might just have to REPLACE you!), since we wrote it not too long ago. It mentioned the 'Boyfriend Incident', as Wormtail so fittingly named it. For our amusement –_

Not mine.

_Ignoring. For our amusement, I repeat it, word for word here, so we can look back on it fondly when we are old men and sigh at the foolishness of the youth._

Anything, anything at all. You don't appreciate my diversity.

_Ignoring. And now, finally, the event we've all been waiting for: Prongs' Mortification (of course it wasn't actually called 'Prongs' Mortification', because hardly anybody labels our dear friend that particular name)_

_Unless our readers are all some form of Hogwarts Hermits, you will have heard of ----- ------ (I removed his name, to keep our identities secret) –_

I don't get why we can't use our names, Padfoot.

_Privacy, secrecy, confidentiality, etc. Back to the article: He's the Gryffindor Quidditch star, Hogwarts Quidditch star, trouble maker extraodinaire, top of his year in many subjects (has anybody ever seen him study?) and the list goes on. But it is not these points which we wish to discuss today. Many of us have been wondering about the giant purple lump that disfigures his head._

It doesn't look that bad!

_Ignoring. 'How did it get there?' is one of the most popular questions of the year (the most popular being 'Will you go out with me, Sirius?"), leading us to investigate this swelling._

_Surprisingly, it wasn't Snape or any other Slytherin, but our own Lily Evans. While many girls died of shock when they heard that Lily had hurt their '----sie' (so I'm not the only one who calls you that!) __but others cheered for the girl who had so stylishly left her mark on the boy's head._

What is this stylish they mention? And WHO was cheering, besides you, Padfoot?

_Try and get it into your head that I am ignoring you, Prongs! There's not much left, it was pretty short -_

Luckily.

_Unfortunately, we were threatened by an anonymous reader that if we went any deeper into this, he/she would prank us mercilessly. But I'm pretty sure most of you can figure out what happened for yourselves. In any case, Lily and James will eventually end up married (the 'anonymous' person made us put that in there too)._

_By Frank Longbottom_

Oh the shame! I hear Slytherin has a longer article on it too! Who started these house newspapers?

_I dunno. Someone who wanted to be a journalist? I like them; the crosswords are usually quite intelligent –_

Since when do you do crosswords?

_Since M.M. started doing them in ours. The other ones sucked. It was all quick and no cryptic._

Well, you learn something new everyday.

_Yeh... Is it time for the meeting yet?_

What meeting?

_THE meeting._

What?

_The meeting to discuss what to do about the 'return prank'. God, you're thick sometimes. Almost as thick as Wormtail._

No one's that thick. Oh, we forgot to tell Pablo. We got pranked back by the Slytherins.

_Although it was nothing up to our standard. Just some water bombs and freezing charms. Nothing we couldn't handle._

Which is why we are going to give them a little lesson on how to prank people.

_So we need to meet up with Moony and Wormtail._

So we have to go.

_Stars of the Show,_

Prongs and Padfoot _(Padfoot and Prongs sounds better!)(_No it doesn't!)

trixie-pixie-luvzhp-106 – Ok. Here's the list: 1. Reviewing makes you feel good by making me feel good.

2. As much as I hate to say it, I actually do update faster because of reviews.

3. If any of you write your own fic, which lots of people do, you will know how nice it is to receive one of those e-mails. I swear, I check my e-mail SO much now! When I sign into hotmail and it's like, 2 new e-mails, or whatever, I get SO excited and all tingly!

4. You want to express your opinion?

5. Because you... love me?

6. You want a review response! What a great reason! He he he... lol

7. You like counting and if you submit a review you can count the number going up!

8. You like seeing your name on the computer, even if it is just a screen name...

9. Your fingers are it itching to type. Come on, you know they are. And you can fulfill their wish by just typing a nice, long review. : )

10. This will be the last reason for now. And it is: You just have to say something about this fab fic! Lol... if any of them work, I'll be happy!

Your punctuation is good... I use way too many '...''s and '!'. Tis a disorder, I think.

Unblemished Lamb – As you may have noticed, I added in the huge purple lump for you! All credits for that this way! And I'll think about the other thing for later! Thank you! So, your sister is just as silly as James... lol, probably not, that would be quite hard. Thanks so much for the long review! I love getting long ones, tis the best kind!

Dazzling Dame – Addicted to it! YAY! Your review made me especially happy. How are you and your friend? Did you both like this chapter! I love thinking that you have a friend who reads it too... Awesome. My exams are in a week... ahhhh! Congrats on yours. About the C2... I am very confused about these, but would love to be a staff member if you want me to. Thanks for reading!

Magical Maniac Girl – Hello Magical Maniac... thanks SO much for reading and reviewing! I LOVE it!

thiefofblueness – I used your name, aye? That is very cool, and yes, you are very special now! Thank you for reading and reviewing!

Prongsiepoo – It is annoying, but I suppose he's not a very desirable character... Thanks so much for reading and reviewing! It is very good and very happy!

HPelvenfaeiry – Yay! Quoting person! I'm glad you found the fic. Thanks for reading and reviewing!

The Lady Quotes - - Adds review to collection – Thanks for your suggestion! I wonder how they did come up with it? Hopefully something a little more interesting than 'let's be called the Marauders because we maraud'. Lots of people seem to have been doing a James! How did your friends work out? Unfortunately, they didn't have the magic James had! Makes the job easier...

Tamaran Girl – I think you were the 100th reviewer! CONGRATULATIONS! Although it might have been somebody up or down... anyway, you were around that area so let's celebrate! I don't know if Lily will find the diary... maybe I'll do an ending like that or something... I dunno... Thanks for reading and reviewing!

JadedxLily – Oooh... nice longish review. Pretty. It is ok, you eventually got around to reviewing which is very good. Very, very good. So many compliments too... That's nice. Very, very nice. You are a Pablo fan? Join the Pablo fan-club... which doesn't exist... oh well... imagine you are in the Pablo fan club! I love it how you said 'so...well, Sirius'. Sirius is oh so cool! And it's awesomely awesome that you think the marauders are in character! Thanks for the review! I am glad you managed to give me one. Very, very Glad. Lol! Thanks!

Trinity Day – My sister loved the 'Grrrr'ing too! Thanks for reading and reviewing!

thestraltamer – It is 6th year, so there is quite a while before Lily and James action really kicks into place. I am planning to include some Snape stuff soon, but I keep forgetting. Hang on, it will come! And prattle on as much as you want, prattling is good. Thanks for reading and reviewing

grets7jam – Wormtail, Odd socks? How... odd. Lol. Your sister must be so nice to read this out loud to you! I reckon she must be a great reader! I'm glad you like this story so much! It makes me feel special! Thanks for reading and reviewing!

Kayhera – I hate homework. Kill homework. And you quoted too! Go you! Snape... I swear... I always start writing, meaning to put him in and then just forget! Must remember him soon! I will try. I will check out your stories with your bestie. I sort of based this on how me and my friend talk to each other... Although, neither of us are guys... hmm... I love the Marauders too! Anything past Harry Potter rocks! And if J.K. wants to kill of dear Moony, she better be prepared to write a prequel or something! Protesting sounds fun, but! She has to keep the spirit alive! Your reply can never be too long... there is no such think as a "too long" review... not for me anyway! The longer the better, that's my slightly crazy motto! Please feel free to tell me if I get any facts wrong, because it would annoy me so much if I did that! ARRRRG! Thanks for reading and reviewing!

Fairy-Dust 888 – Goodness Gracious Me! I loved your review, it was very kickass! Love, love love. I love it when I get that wonderful e-mail that says "new review". It's wonderful! Ok, did you even realize I was nearly quoting you? I never know if people do... Anyway, enjoy your ice cream, send me some if you get your hands on it! Thanks for reading and reviewing

horn-head – hello one with the horned head. Thanks for reviewing and reading!

Lara Potter – The poor chairs of today! People are constantly falling out of chairs nowadays. Ah, and I come across another Pablo fan! Pablo fan club all the way! Did you get any crazy stares at school? If so, tell the crazy staring person that Pablo is super cool, coz he is. Thanks for reading and reviewing!

Silwen Aurdomiel – Steel yet? After steel, let's try for diamond! Diamond abs.... That's gotta be worth something... Thanks for reading and reviewing!

ole' green eyes – Good ole' green eyes, thanks for reading and reviewing (gosh, that line is getting old!)

Reaka – giving genders to chairs now, are we? Well, I'm glad she's ok. And the carrot is coming for you... watch out. Thanks for reading and reviewing!

despyrit – James head is hurting for more than a day, I think... poor fellow. My brother once threw a whole bunch of books at me. Luckily, his aims not too good, so it wasn't that bad. Thanks for reading and reviewing!

dark fairy fan – Thanks for reading and reviewing!

Gaby-Black – Hello, Hello. I am grinning right now, for some unknown reason... I just like grinning! Thanks for reading and reviewing!

blue3ski – Sore? Why is that? Poor you! And I agree with you, Siris is right! Thanks for reading and reviewing!

ReginaLucifer – I love the word confuzzled. Tis one of my favourites! If you ever right a "Wormtail, The Brave Rat" fic you have GOT to tell me! If you ever find one, too! That, would be So funnY! Thanks for reading and reviewing!

Padfootz – Okay : ). Sirius is eating his words. I wonder what they taste like? Anyway, thanks for reading and reviewing!

MAndrews – Cleo, the undeveloped girlfriend of Sirius! Amazing he actually picked anything up from the book. Ron and Harry never seem to... Thanks for reading and reviewing.

That took a long time! YES!!!!!!!!! That means lots! I love you all! KEEP REVIEWING! I will update in a few weeks, I have exams looming... Bye bye all!


	7. A Charm

Hi! I finally updated! Sorry for the wait every one! I can't even say I've been busy… Just had no inspiration to write. So this chapter/entry is a bit crappy… I just wanted to get something out! I feel bad leaving it this long…

By the way, did anybody know Regulus, as in Sirius's younger brother, is the 'heart of the lion'? The star, Regulus, was also named Cor Leonis, which literally means 'heart of the lion'… I find that weird… because lion is like Gryffindor, right?. Anybody else?

Oh, and as always: I LOVE YOU GUYS! You rock SO MUCH! Reviewing is the ultimate invention ever!

And Merry Christmas to all!

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_Is it working?_

I dunno, check.

_Oh Gawd, you have got to see this!_

It's working?

_This is SO weird!_

So it's working?

_Wow…_

Oh my God, he's working!

_He?_

It's still Pablo, isn't it?

_I suppose…_

Oh no! We forgot to put 'Dear Pablo' at the top!

_The world is going to end, Prongs! What are we going to do? And HOW on earth does he know punctuation? Did you put that in?_

Umm… Well, maybe.

_Impressive._

Lily was saying how much she –

_Let me guess – admired proper grammar or something of the like?_

Yeh…

_Well, that explains it then._

Do you reckon Pablo knows what's going on?

_Of course he does, it's happening to him right?_

I dunno. Maybe we should tell him.

_If we must, Prongs. Ok, Pablo, Prongs and I - hey! I said 'Prongs and me'! It corrected me…. And just then… wow, this is a good charm, mate! So, Prongs and I don't like writing that much._

We do enough of it in classes.

_And with homework and all that... So we thought, why not charm Pablo to record what we say on his pages._

Padfoot was against it at first.

_Was not!_

Was too! You teased me about having weak hands! As if the star Gryffindor Chaser has 'weak hands'!

_Muh ha ha. Maybe he does…_

I will not react, I will not react.

_You already have._

This is all being recorded, Padfoot! Remember that.

_Oh yeh… I will shut up now._

Anyway, the real reason we wanted you to record stuff was Padfoot here wanted to do a report of our prank against the evil side of Hogwarts –

_I.E Slytherin, if you couldn't guess._

- like a… what was it again?

_T.V interview. It's a muggle thing._

Why do you take muggle studies, again? It's so uncharacteristic.

_Why is it uncharacteristic?_

Well, it's boring. None of us do it. There's no one particularly good-looking in the class. It adds extra homework to your daily schedule –

_Ok, ok, I get the point. I only do it because it annoys the hell out of my family. Quoting muggle facts to them… You have GOT to see that one-day, Prongs._

You are confusing.

_Can we start my show?_

Yes, we can start our show.

_We're on air in 3… 2… 1…_

What?

_Just start._

Okay, I'm the interviewer, right?

_YES! Do you need help or something?_

No, I'm fine –

_THEN START!_

Umm… I have with me today the well renowned pranker, Padfoot, who has kindly agreed to share with us the genius behind Slytherin's recent mortification. He and his crew of talented friends have managed to outsmart the scheming snakes yet again. But the question we all want to ask is, how? How do they come up, again and again with fabulous ideas? How do they pull them off? While we have been reminded this is top secret, Padfoot has agreed to share a little of his knowledge with our viewing audience. Let's start with your most recent prank. Would you kindly recap this event for those few who haven't heard about it already, Padfoot?

_Of course, Prongs. Feel free to add in any extra details you remember. I suppose, when it all comes down to it, we, and by we I mean my fellow Marauders and myself, started the war. We pranked the Slytherins a few weeks ago and they were obliged to prank us back. Now, what they did back really was shameful._

I'll say! It hurt my pride. Are we really at the same level as them, Padfoot? ARE WE?

_Of course we're not. That's why we outdid them one billion times afterward. Calm down, Prongs._

Ah yes. Please continue.

_Well, we spent a while brain-storming for this one. It had to be perfect, flawless. Eventually, after hours of deliberating and kilos of kitchen snacks, we came up with a master idea. It was going to be arduous, most likely difficult and we were going to have to resort to the library at some point, a thought that rendered Prongs and me speechless._

Hey! We're not that against books!

_It's what the public wants, mate._

There IS no public, but…

_T.V. show equals Public._

You are strange.

_And proud of it._

Back to the original purpose. You are the one who wanted to do this, Padfoot. So get on with it.

_Where was I?_

Read it.

_Ah yes. So Prongsie and I, although dreading the thought of the library, were terribly excited to get the prank on it's way so we took the liberty of forcing Wormtail and Moony out of their beds at, what was described as, 'an ungodly hour', to get everything planned._

And we planned it well. So well, Moony figured there was only about a 1 chance that it would go astray.

_Who's telling this story?_

I was there! I can add stuff! You said!

_I changed my mind._

Well, you're taking too long.

_Being a celebrity is an artwork. I have to take my time._

Great. We'll be here for hours.

_Never fear, dear Prongs. I'm sure one day you too will reach the stage I am at in my career. Though there are hard years ahead of you. The road to fame is not an easy one and must not be taken lightly –_

You are such a bullshit artist.

_You're just jealous. Now, cease these interruptions and let me continue. Thank you. So we spent hours planning blah blah blah etc. But you're all waiting for the prank. What were we planning? What did such geniuses come up with? What –_

Just tell them already.

_We charmed the Slytherin's wands to swear at them. Is that good enough for you, Prongs?_

Well, a little more detail would be nice. You know, elaborate a bit, try and explain to our people some of the ingenuity of the prank.

_First it's faster now it's slower… I can never please you!_

Well Sor-ry.

_Apology accepted. But I was going to do all that anyway. So I will. Right now. As soon as I finish delaying the inevitable. Well, as I said, we charmed the Slytherin's wands to swear at them and insult them. Basically whenever they tried to use it and, in the case they just stopped using it, at random intervals._

While there was the usual swear words and phrases such as "Slytherin's Stupid!", we also added some more personal touches.

_Snape's wand, for example, yelled out "I belong to a greasy-haired git!" and "Watch out! Dark Arts tool coming through!"._

I think there was also "I love Gryffindor!" on most peoples.

_Gotta have a bit of house pride._

Snape's had heaps more though, didn't it?

_Yeh… I can't remember them now. There was 'ugly git' and 'idiot' and all that… but most peoples had them._

Oh well. Basically, in Charms with the Slytherins, nearly all of them got either a detention for cheeking the teacher or send away for wand repair.

_There was anger in the air that day, lots of anger._

But it was perfect. Simply perfect.

_Couldn't have gone better. Not only did we get a chance to show up Snape, we humiliated the entire Slytherin house, had great fun and got a party thrown for us. Fantastic._

Wait, this is an interview still, right?

_Oh yeh. I forgot. Well, let's finish it up._

Is that all you have for us today, Padfoot?

_I'm afraid I can't let you too deep into my secrets, so yes, I better stop now before anybody foul gets a hold of our methods._

Thank you very much for sparing the time to talk to us. It's been a delight.

_Believe me, the pleasure's all mine._

You just love the attention.

_I suppose the interview has finished then._

I hope so. I hate it when you make me act lesser than you.

_I didn't make you._

Cough

_You didn't want to be the celebrity._

Correction. I didn't want to be anybody.

_It was fun though, wasn't it?_

Somewhat.

_See! You just don't want to admit Muggle Studies is useful!_

I have nothing against Muggle Studies! I never did!

_Oh yeh, sure. I believe you. How come you don't do it then._

Because… I don't want to.

_Because you hate muggles!_

Please, Padfoot, I think you're mixing me up with Regulus.

_I would never do that to you, Prongsie! If you were Regulus, I wouldn't be talking to you, would I?_

I guess not. Still, I don't hate muggles. I am in love with a muggle born, remember?

_You are not bringing up Lily today. I am bloody sick of Lily._

How could anybody get sick of Lily?

_Easily, when they know you._

Lily… Lily…

_He's muttering 'Lily' again._

Lily… Lily… Lily… Lily…

_This gets so irritating._

Lily… Lily… Lily… Lily… Lily… Lily… Lily…

_I'm leaving._

Lily… Lily… Lily… Lily Evans… Lily… Lily… Lily… Lily Evans…

_Goodbye Pablo._

Lily… Lily Potter… Lily… Lily Evans… Lily Potter… Lily… Lily… Lily… Lily Potter…

_I don't believe it. 'Lily Potter'! The day I see that…_

Lily… Lily…

_I'm taking him away._

_Captivatingly Gorgeous,_

_Padfoot and Prongs_ and Lily… Lily…


	8. A Monkey

I return! Sorry for the AWFUL wait. And really, it's not because I have so much on I can't find the time to write, I just sort of got into a writers block kind of affair… Please bear with me! I will try and continue… I'm not sure where this will end. Any suggestions?

As always, I love everybody who finds the time to review! It's basically the reason I'm picking this up again! So, know they all do mean something! Thank you everyone!

_Dear Pablo,_

_I'd just like to announce before Prongs gets his mixed up, untruthful story to you that the aforementioned twit is… a twit. And, if you see him, I'm not talking to him. And now I am going to lunch, at which I will sit away from any monkey-stealing scum._

_Fuming Mad,_

_Padfoot_

Dear Pablo,

Would like you to note that I am not: a) a twit, b) a monkey stealer or c) scum. Like I told Padfoot about one billion, billion times, McGonagall confiscated it. How you confiscate a monkey is the real mystery! NOT how did I steal the monkey!

Innocent (at least until proven guilty),

Prongs

_Dear Pablo (my one, TRUE friend),_

_While we're on the topic of monkey stealers, let's talk about Prongs (my ex-bestfriend). How anybody could be so cruel hearted as to steal a sweet, innocent monkey is beyond me, but the aforementioned failure has shown his true colours and committed the crime. Why he expects me to believe that our kind Professor, McGonagall would do such a thing is really an outrage. And while we're speaking of outrages, let's go and report Prongs to the MCOSCHTS (Magical Creatures in Outrageous Situations that Could Harm Them Society)._

_On the case,_

_Padfoot_

Dear Pablo (you wonderful old chap, who I love so much more than anybody else who might write in you)

If any smelly dogs happen to read this let them know that McGonagall long ago deemed monkeys not suitable pets for school when the last nutter attempted to keep one in his dormitory. Also let that stupid, lesser beast know that monkeys are not magical creatures so the MCOSCHTS would not be interested in them. Also let the hideous canine be warned that he can expect to buy me new socks as his pet monkey ruined all mine. And new quills. And new drapes. And new parchment. And a new hat. And new pajamas. And a new potions kit. And a new copy of 1000 Magical Herbs And Fungi. That will be all.

Angelic as Always,

Prongs

_Dear Pablo,_

_Lies, my friend. All lies. Little Flea wouldn't have hurt a fly. Maybe a stag, but not a fly. And that was my little monkey's name. Flea. It was because he gave me fleas, and that is how our love grew. We both knew how aggravating fleas are. I would have kept him forever, but now he is lost in the deepest, darkest jungle of the deepest, darkest place ever. And I am not buying you anything, monkey-stealer._

_In Mourning,_

_Padfoot_

Dear Pablo,

Padfoot is still on about that bloody monkey. I made McGonagall confess to him she stole it, but he wouldn't believe her. Accused us of having a relationship and she was only covering up for her lover. I feel sick now. Luckily I already threw up all my dinner because some brainless fart charmed all my food to look like delicious chicken, and taste like delicious chicken, but it was actually monkey poo. Urrggg. And I ate quite a lot before said fart told me what it was. And by a lot I mean about a whole 'chicken'. Now I have nothing in my stomach to throw up on Padfoot when he reminds me of my 'lover. Speak of the devil, here he comes. He is telling me I can't use you because you like him more than me and therefore when we are fighting only he can use you. I feel like I need to take a breath after writing all that. Padfoot wants to use you. Moony is looking suspicious. Wormtail is scratching his nose. I think I'd prefer to take notes about the common room in you than give you up to the accusing liar. There is a VERY pretty redhead in the corner studying. She looks like she needs help. Maybe, just maybe, she needs a knight in shining armour. I can be a knight. All I need is the shining armour. Well, Padfoot can use you while I go rob one of the knights in that creepy hallway that no one ever uses. I am scared.

Severely Creeped Out (by many, many things),

Prongs

_Dear Pablo,_

_Well, we've finally got rid of that snot-nosed idiot and we can continue with our deep discussions that I will treasure in my heart for the aeons of time that are still to come. If only some of my other friends could be more like you. I'm going to do a Prongs and observe Wormtail and Moony who are, at the moment, being very unconsoling. Moony is reading. Can you believe it? Reading. I am in pain and my best friend in the whole world (besides you of course, darling) is reading. And what's more, he's reading a book we're meant to be reading for Advanced Transfiguration. How many times have I tried to tell him, you DON'T NEED BOOKS TO GET GOOD MARKS. I can already guess the first line of the book. Something like: 'When contemplating a specialty as meticulous as the art of Transfiguration one must be fastidious in their readings in order to elude any potential predicaments.' It will then go on to list how the book will help one to study Transfiguration and the rest of it will be bullshit on the subject that even I could have come up with. I mean, seriously.He's studying about how to study. It's utterly ridiculous.Wormtail, who is meant to be the steady one of the group, never fighting or taking sides but always there to lend a helping hand is scratching… no wait, picking his nose. That's just gross Wormy. And I'm meant to be immature. They are both being boring. I hate boring things. Muh… Prongs has just walked up to Lily wearing a suit of armour. She is screaming very loudly and disturbing Moony. So, in the name of Moony I must stop Prongs. Too bad it'll stop any potential embarrassment._

_Doing Good Deeds,_

_Padfoot._

Dear Pablo,

Don't worry! It's not another monologue from me! Padfoot has decided to talk to me!

_I would say that you, Prongs, decided to talk to me, but let's leave that matter for Merlin to contemplate._

I agree with you there. So, are you 'forgiving' me for 'stealing' Flea?

_Well, McGonagall actually convinced me that she took him by showing me a letter from some naturalist about how she was going to introduce him back into the wild –_

And you've still been going off at me this whole time?

_Well, I didn't want to give in to you. You know what happens when I do that!_

No. What?

_You get all stuck up and be mean._

Well, baby, I am so sorry. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings.

_Yeh, sure. Anyway, Fleas is going to the wild. He'll probably get a monkey wife (hot, of course) and have monkey children and be all nice and monkeyish._

And so the story ends happily and we can all celebrate.

_Let's have a remembrance party._

Yeh… and you can give me presents, which contain all my ruined items good as new (preferably actually new and not just transfigured rocks).

_Damn. You caught me out. Well, fine. But you're coming with me to Hogsmeade._

Yay! Hogsmeade trip!

_Let's invite the others and make it a party._

It can be the remembrance party!

_I was thinking maybe more than four people should come to that. We'll get supplies though._

Ok… House party or school?

_Umm, school? Everybody loves monkeys._

If you say so…

_Well, I say we spread the word, set the date and then have fun!_

Shoddy inviting 6th Year's!

_Yet another excuse to talk to Lily?_

You better believe it.

_So, that is settled. Wow, now I am so excited. We need a monkey banner and a monkey cake and monkey drinks…_

Monkey drinks? Can't we just draw a picture of a monkey on fire whiskey bottles?

_I suppose. And think of some monkey drinks?_

Look, Padfoot. We've been friends for ages, right?

_Yep._

Then I think it's my duty to break it to you: Not everybody likes monkeys.

_But… But, no…_

But, yes, Padfoot. So, although I know and you know that it is a remembrance party, maybe we should keep it quiet, ok?

_But we can tell Moony and Wormtail?_

If we must. But other than that, it can be a secret, ok?

_Well, if you say so. What do people have against monkeys anyway?_

I dunno. Fleas?

_But people like me and I have fleas._

But you only have them sometimes. I hope.

_Yeh… If I were people I would feel sorrow for the monkeys. Not hatred._

If you were people then we'd all be pretty stuffed.

_At least I'd be happy._

I'd be happy if we could go over there and make Moony stop reading and start having some fun.

_I'd be happy if we could pull Wormtail's finger out of his nose._

I think everybody would be happy if that happened.

_True. Let's do some more good deeds and save the world from the perils of Wormtail's personal hygiene._

It'll be hard. But necessary. Wand please.

_With pleasure._

And now, Pablo, we must depart on our valiant quest.

_Remember Fleas,_

_Padfoot _and Prongs


	9. An Assortment

Oh, you must all hate me! This has been forever and ever and ever. I am sooo sorry and hopefully you can all find it in your hearts to forgive poor little me who has been a naughty girl and taken far too long. Well, Thanks SO much to those who reviewed, I appreciate it so much. Love you all J . Find it in your hearts to do it again? Please J . I love reviews so much, I live off them. Well, enjoy, hopefully it's ok after the wait.

Dear Pablo

We are pleased to announce that we have officially obtained the most detentions via only one act in Hogwarts history.

_Of course, this is to be expected as we already owned said record and were just looking for an excuse to break it (again)._

The upside of this is we have made history. People will forever be trying to beat the famous "100 detentions for Padfoot and Prongs".

_The downside, naturally, being that we have to do 100 detentions._

So far, we've done 10. Each.

_All in one go. With Nott as well for 5 of them. Do you pity us?_

You should. We had to clean the Giant Squid.

_Yes, a task so disgusting it earned us the 10 detentions in one shot._

The squid is slimy.

_And big._

Giant.

_A Giant Squid._

And he has crevices.

_That are hard to reach._

And in all sorts of odd places.

_I shudder to remember the deed._

And to top it all off, Nott was there. But we already mentioned that. And the Slytherin in him made him wander off half way through.

_And the Squid didn't look any cleaner._

Or say thank you.

_Because we expected a Giant Squid that can't talk to say thank you, didn't we?_

He can wave. I've seen him do it. He could have at least appreciated that we slaved away on him for an entire weekend.

_Come to think of it, after that, I'm not so sure he's a he._

Ewww, Padfoot. I don't want to think about it.

_You didn't have to clean the bottom!_

Oh god, I'm going to faint with shock at the horridness of what you're implying.

_Believe me, been there, done that. I told you mine was harder._

And now, I agree. Hey, I was wondering why you kept groaning in disgust.

_Well, now you know. Poor you._

I'm not going to think about it from now on.

_I second that. Motion passed._

Yes, well, after we've now all been appalled we can move on to nicer, safer topics.

_Like Snape._

I dunno, he's pretty close to your squid incident.

_He also makes me shudder. Though not with fear, I assure you._

Padfoot, it could be said you were trying to lead this conversation into a raunchy position.

_Prongs, it could also be said you have a dirty mind. And when connected to Snape, that's a very wrong thing indeed._

But surely the one who brings up the topic of Snape and shuddering first would be considered to be the one whose mind is in the wrong.

_Unless the one doing the bringing up was not referring to any kind of dirty-minded attribute when bringing up the topic._

Now you're just confusing me.

_Ah, see, dear Prongs, this is where I shout and scream: I WIN!_

And this is where I walk away until you forget about it. This way, I avoid boasting and get to watch you suffer as you miss me.

_You know I'll just chase you down._

That I do. But it's still fun.

_Some people would call it abandonment._

Like whom?

_Me?_

You know you enjoy it. Puppies love to chase.

_Manly dogs are above it, though._

So you'll have no problem.

_Alas, you have already not left, thus making me the official winner._

I see no officials to confirm this.

_You can see me._

And…?

_If I need to explain my own officiality it is a very sad day indeed._

Oh, Padfoot, if only you could see it from my perspective.

_I think I'd rather avoid that._

You don't know what you're missing out on, darling. Being me is amazing.

_Not as amazing as being me._

That is doubtful.

_Only if you're you._

Well, if you are I what are you meant to do? Sit back and take the insults?

_No, I'd dance around like a crazy teapot._

Ha ha, Padfoot. Ha ha.

_Oh, I just win SO MUCH, Prongs, my lad._

Hey, I can take losing.

_Lily can't hear you, mate._

You think? Maybe she can hear my thoughts?

_You're NOT serious._

Ummm… I'm lost.

_You don't genuinely think Lily can hear your thoughts?_

Of course not…

_Well, that's what it sounded like._

Oh, don't be silly, Padfoot! I'm not that nutty!

_Ah, but sometimes I wonder._

Hi Moony.

_Moony?_

Right behind you.

_Oh, hi Moony._

Where's the tail of Worm?

_He says Wormtail is in the dorm._

By himself? Or with a lady?

_He says he's not sure. He didn't want to go in and check._

I understand. Walking in on Wormtail might be… weird. More weird than with others.

_He says why can't you just talk to him?_

Because Pablo can't hear and it would be rude.

_He says why am I repeating everything he says. I say because of Pablo._

He says we're mad.

_I say that he should know that. Living with us for six years and all._

He says that we're being anti-social.

I_ say we're talking to each other._

He says that this is stupid and we can't write fast enough to make this a worthwhile conversation. I say slow down, Moony.

_I say goodbye Moony, stop interrupting us._

He says that he is very offended and is trying to talk fast so I can't keep up.

_I say that's very mean of you Moony, bugger off._

Moony says he refuses to take the advice of rude little buggers like us.

_Moony just got hit with a curse. Who did that, I wonder?_

We swear, we're innocent.

_Moony is coming over to us._

Do you think that's what an angry rhino would look like?

_I think Moony is much scarier._

And to think, Moony is meant to be the quiet one.

_You can never tell with those quiet types._

Change their minds in a second.

_But… Moony is meant to be the rational one._

Moony is obviously under the influence of something.

_Moony is going to hurt us._

Moony is going to tickle us.

_Oh god, that's worse._

Why did you tell him we were ticklish?

_I didn't, you did._

He's taking his time.

_Umm… Where's he gone?_

_We just got attacked._

By an angry werewolf.

_My sides hurt from the laughter._

My entire body aches.

_Remind me never to annoy Moony again. He is too damn smart._

Scrap that. Remind me never to go near Moony again.

_So, let's kick him out. Me, you and Wormtail from now on._

Sounds good.

_No more bloody prefects annoying us._

And we'll be able to go on three person rides at carnivals without leaving someone out.

_Where do you come up with these?_

I dunno.

_Wait a sec, it's full moon next week._

Oh. Poor Moony.

_Let's not reject him._

Yes, let's give him some chocolate.

_Ok._

Bye bye, Pablo.

_Have a nice diary time of it._

Terribly amazing,

_Padfoot and_ Prongs.


End file.
